Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If there is no chocolate in heaven...I AM NOT GOING!
That moment when you offer somebody a sincere compliment on their mustache and suddenly she`s not your friend anymore
Imagine this: You`re home alone and you sneeze. Suddenly the phone rings and you answer, then someone whispers `Bless you` and hangs up.
You know that you have eaten way too much junk food when you start actually craving something healthy.
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
Found out the name of my neighbor`s cat. In other news, I now have free internet.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
I feel it`s important for you to know, no matter what I`m faced with and when given the option, I am that guy who will send you a voice-mail marked confidential.
Juicing changed my life. I went from being overweight, to being overweight and owning a juicer.
The new Jungle Book movie might be confusing to today`s kids who don`t remember when we had jungles. Or books...
I always dress up when I try to cook. The odds of me starting a fire are pretty high and I want to make sure I look good for the firemen.
My dog takes so long to sh!t I can`t believe he`s not out there playing Candy Crush.
Our kids biggest challenge will be to find a username that`s not already taken.
Iām glad to know that we will never have to worry about a lack of weathermen. I mean, I know at least a couple dozen on Facebook.