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New day, same old bullsh!t
MISSED CONNECTION: I gave you the Heimlich maneuver on Maine St. You insisted you weren’t choking and put up a good fight.
You can`t lick any part of your reflection except your tongue.
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
Just bought a Ken doll. I don`t know what everyone`s talking about, you can`t read books on this thing.
Saying “sounds good” is probably the nicest way to abruptly end a conversation.
Well I didn`t know that minding my own business becomes part of your business to mind
I can read Spanish, Chinese, Russian and Italian. As long as it`s written in english.
The key to a woman`s heart is making her laugh...just make sure she`s not laughing at the size of your junk.
If you`re not employed by the Secret Service, there is absolutely no reason to have a Bluetooth on your ear.
I’m not going to vacuum until Sears makes one you can ride on.
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
When it gets nice out I`m going to have a roof party and after that`s done have a painting party inside, come all
Life gave me onions ... Onionade sucks.
Found a note on my door today that said ”You’re Awesome!” ... Yes, I wrote it yesturday. But still, the truth is the truth.