Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If I work up the courage to tell you I love you...the least you can do is introduce yourself to me dammit.
Do you ever just look at a girl and instantly know she posts her daily horoscope on Facebook and quotes Marilyn Monroe?
The sun shouldn`t be allowed to come out until after your hangover.
Blessed are they who can just read it and move on.
Its funny how your friends change , Meet new people and forget about you . :( But just know i`ll still be in your heart?
"A vodka, please" "Sir, this is McDonald`s" "OK, a McVodka, please and super size it."
Someone asked me how much love was worth and I couldn’t answer because alimony is calculated differently in each state.
Redneck Term Of Thee Day-Wisdom: "Mah bruther had him some kidney stones, but he wisdom out!"
Apparently this dude at the mall was just tying his shoe and did NOT want to play leap frog. My bad, dude. My bad.
“we should hang out soon” loosely translates to I’m doing everything in my power to end this stupid conversation.
Silence is Golden, but telling some people to go f*ck themselves is PRICELESS...!
I have to be funny because being hot is not an option.
Getting that beach body is easy. You just have to know where to dig.
I want to see a pregnancy test commercial where 2 single people high five the sh!t out of each other because it`s negative.
Wanna have a little fun? Post "Anyone know a good lawyer?" Then sit back and watch the speculation run wild!