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When I get home the first thing I`m going to do is rip my wife`s panties off. Because they`re too small and the elastic is killing me.
Do women who complain about never getting laid know about men?
New documentary movie about white trash ... I only saw the trailer...
If you can’t face it, moon it.
People with jobs: It`s Friday!!! People without jobs: It`s Friday?
“Taking candy from a baby” would actually be a responsible thing to do.
My boss said “Dress for the job you want, not the job you have.” Now I’m sitting in a disciplinary meeting dressed as Batman.
I took my family to Sea World this weekend, but i wasnt allowed in. Apparently you cant take your fishing rod.
If it was not for electricity, we would all be watching T.V. by candle light.
I was the only one that cared when Jimmy cracked corn.
if your morning beverage isn`t half booze/half coffee, you`re doing Saturday wrong.
Because it`s the season to give thanks, I would just like to say....you`re welcome.
I wish real life had as many ejection seats as cartoons.
Reasons to date me: I laugh at my own jokes so you don`t have to.
This is my leftover status from Thanksgiving.