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I am a very tolerant person until you think differently than me. Then I act like a spoiled little brat.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
I bet Snowmen think it`s weird that the ground is completely covered in their skin.
Last night I had this awesome dream, where I fought this huge fat ninja and knocked him out with my super power punch. I`d tell you more but I have to take my wife to the doctor. She has this mysterious black eye.
Lord, help me be the person my psychiatrist medicates me to be.
One thing horror movies have helped me realize is that as a parent, you definitely want to avoid having demonic children
Sometimes one middle finger isn`t enough to let someone know how you feel. That`s why we have two hands.
Husband for sale: 1972 model, white in colour, a bit hard on gas but comes with a spare tire.
A man is as faithful as his options
Go ahead, judge me. Wait, let me get my bat first. Alright, I`m ready now.
My 6 year old found the duct tape and now nothing in my house moves.
I didn`t think a McDonald`s Happy Meal would fill me up, but it did...OMG, I ATE THE TOY!
7.1 billion people in the world. 0 willing to lower their standards and date me.
If we aren`t meant to have late night snacks then why is there a light in the fridge.