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Today`s secret word is "epic". When someone says the secret word scream real loud and punch them in the face.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
I like restaurants because the people have to be nice and feed you.
Common sense is like deodorant; those that need it most, don’t use it.
The easiest time to add insult to injury is when you`re signing a cast.
Sorry I said "You`ll Do" instead of "I Do" at our wedding.
Facebook Stalker! If you just felt a sudden twinge of guilt then yes I`m talking about you.
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
If “too drunk to stand” is a yoga pose, then I’m nailing that one.
Only a few years ago, the average parents had four children. Nowadays, the average child has four parents.
This company doesn`t know how much of an asset I am.. Or an ass-sit. They really should pay more attention.
Had a great time watching the family oriented PG rated Shrek with my grandson last night... until he asked why a Donkey would have sex with a Dragon.
There are two types of people...don`t worry you are not one of them.
I wish bedtime was all the time.
Sometimes, even I`m afraid of the things my mind comes up with.