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Today is International Women’s Day. It was actually supposed to be held 2 days ago but they took too long to get ready.
If there`s one thing I`ve learned, it`s that I should have learned some other stuff.
I think I have a serious problem---Today I was reading the newspaper and found myself looking for the "Like" button.
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
Think of me as an idea. A really, really bad idea.
I don`t have ADD. It`s just that everything is more interesting than what I have to get done.
We always say that our elders are wise, because of their years of experience. But you know what? ... Stupid people get old too.
One time at the beach this guy was swimming in the ocean yelling, "help! shark! help! " I just laughed, I knew that shark was not going to help him.
Okay, If we get caught here’s the story…
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
I like to go to the bathroom with the door open, because it keeps other people from getting onto the elevator with me.
If you keep bending your iPhone 6 you`ll eventually have a sweet flip phone.
My internet was down for almost 4 mins,im ok but the 911 operator was a total b**ch about it!
The early bird gets the worm. But the second mouse gets the cheese.
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you