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I have no time for games in my relationships. Unless by games you`re referring to naked twister. I`ve always got time for that sh!t.
More food should come with prizes inside it.
If you need help moving I am one hundred percent there for you emotionally.
Consumer confidence is at an all time high, and so am I.
Everything I ever needed to know about structural engineering, I learned from Angry Birds.
Can we all just agree to start spelling it "Wensday"?
How long do I microwave this 14 lb turkey?
Maybelline claims to make eyelashes appear three times longer…..I think they should start making condoms.
Famous words from Fergie... "Boom Boom Pow!" Happy 4th of July!!
It never ceases to amaze me that the little space between the driver’s seat and the center console in my car will fit any object that can possibly be dropped, but will not fit a hand.
Being ‘clean and sober’ means I’ve showered and I’m headed to the liquor store.
Apparently saying, "You mad, bro?" is frowned upon if you work in customer service.
Hmmmmm,,,, Turns out all this time, I’ve been using a life couch instead of a life coach.
I wish people`s voices actually sounded the way they do when their spouse or partner imitates them during an argument.
This day will end with either wine or shopping. Probably both.