Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My friend is a magician, she can turn anything into an argument.
Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
If Coca-Cola REALLY cared about the obesity problem they`d put cocaine back in their recipe.
Steve Jobs` text was meant to say: "I reign as CEO of Apple" Iphone autocorrect strikes again!
I always tell myself there is no such thing as a stupid question, but everyday someone tries to change my mind
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
My wife was out of town, so I had to run the morning routine by myself today. I learned a lot. For example, apparently I have two kids.
My dad`s TV volume is always set at "f*ck the neighbors".
Guys are like bears, if you lay very still they’ll paw at you a bit then give up and go look for food.
I just spent an hour at the gym. I couldn’t find a close enough parking spot so I left.
Remember when people had diaries & got mad when someone read them? Now they put everything online and get mad when people don`t.
Your girl always on her knees. What she forgot she had feet?
Did you know , that if you use asterisk , you can do anything you want ? * gets on a t-rex and gallops away into the sunset *
I put the whiskey in another room ... Exercise regimen established.
Wouldn`t ventriloquists be a lot cooler if they could throw their farts?