Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This debt collector was just so surprised I answered my phone that they stuttered and hung-up lmao!!
There is nothing louder than a party across the street that you weren’t invited to.
Sarcasm, I put that sh!t on everything
The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you dont have to mow it.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
I don`t just burn bridges, I drain the lake, fill it with concrete, and build a shopping mall on that bitch!
My idiot future husband is out there somewhere pushing a pull door. I just know it.
For a guy who cant figure out how a remote works my dad sure has a lot of advice for Obama.
My wife told me, "I look really fat. Please make me feel better and compliment me." I said, "You have perfect eyesight."
I`m painting a blue square in my garden, so that Google Earth thinks I have a pool.
is having one of those days where they feels like lighting someones face on fire and then trying to put it out with a fork
It`s everyone`s favorite holiday season where we try to guess if that was a firework or gunshot
I’m Not Arguing. I’m Simply Explaining Why I’m Right.
I really don`t know what the big deal is about Black Friday. I black out every Friday....
Good news everyone – my proctologist called and all the tests were negative. Bad news - his ring is missing...