Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I don’t have a problem with caffeine.I have a problem without caffeine.
Highway to Hell is a great song because you can play it at both your wedding and your funeral.
According to the squirrel riding a unicycle in my kitchen, I may have taken too much sleep medication.......
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
I think most of my friends hang out with me to see what I’ll say next.
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
Just once I’d like to see someone dropkick the guy grinning and waving behind the news reporter.
Tennis is like marrying for money. Love means nothing.
You had me at "I hate that b!tch too".
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
I can see exactly 6 years into the future. I have 2020 vision.
If I had a jet pack I would look AWESOME dying within the first 2 minutes of having a jet pack.
“Shit ton” is my favorite unit of measurement.
There are 2 kinds of coworkers. The ones who keep iPhone 5 chargers at their desks and the ones whose names I don`t know.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?