Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Optimism? Sure, it`s worth a try. I don`t see how acting like an eye doctor is gonna help, but whatever.
I wish someone would steal my identity, fix it and and give it back...
If you’ve ever used Urban Dictionary to compose or decipher a text, congratulations, you`re over 40.
I don`t know why Coca-Cola and Pepsi are fighting over what Santa drinks, everybody knows that big fat belly can only come from beers.
You can correct people`s grammar or you can have friends. But you can`t do both.
Reminiscing isn’t as fun as it used to be.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
Do you think people in Mexico ever say, "Those jobs keep stealing all our Mexic?ns!"
Next time you see someone you don`t like, begin conversation with "I see the assassins have failed."
bored out of my mind in class i began staring into space... space happened to be right in front of me at the time...
I did not steal your drink. You abandoned it and I rescued it.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
Whenever you feel sad, just remember that somewhere in this world there`s an idiot pulling a door that says "PUSH"..
I can’t afford Disney World so we go to the biggest hill on my street and my kids wait an hour before I roll them down in my office chair.
I don`t mean to brag, but my posts are enjoyed by well over 20 people worldwide...