Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I just did my budget for August. If I don`t buy food ... I won`t need toilet paper. I think I`m on to something here.
I`m super lazy today! Which is like normal lazy, but I`m also wearing a cape.
It`s ok if you don`t like my personality,,, I`ve got others.
I inboxed a girl on Facebook and she never replied. I guess you could say we`re `seen` each other.
Hurricane preparedness tip: 1. Buy several kegs of beer 2. Drink beer 3. Wait for flooding 4. Drop kegs in water 5. Float to safety....
I`m so unlucky with women? I visited a massage parlour the other day..and they told me it was "self - service"
I watch so many crime shows on Tv, that when I turn off the Tv set, I wipe my fingerprints 0ff the remote.
The average human uses less than 10 percent of the remote.
Ladies, if you want men to look at your face and not your chest, eat a banana.
Destiny may decide who touches your Life. Your heart may decide who touches your Soul. But…Tequila decides who touches your body
My house was clean yesterday, sorry you missed it.
I`ve come to the point where I don`t even procrastinate anymore ... I just don`t do it.
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
I`d get lost less frequently if GPS would say "no, your other left."
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.