Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If Wonder Woman and Spiderman went into business together would they call it Amazon Web Services?
"I can`t wait to nail you later" *whispers to the new picture I just bought*
Live life to its fullest even if that means eating everything in the fridge
I don`t speak Spanish, but I`m pretty sure "Dora" means "annoying"
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
I said "sad face emoji" instead of actually frowning today if you want to know how out of touch with reality I am.
I wish I could google "things to eat in my fridge" so I wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed. ;)
I just found out it takes 5 sheep to make 1 wool sweater. I didn`t even know they knew how to knit.
Apparently a teen in Brazil died after jerking off 42 times without stopping. So incase you were wondering. ...41, guys,...that`s the limit.
Apparently, walking up behind a hot guy in the produce aisle with celery in my hand and whispering "I`m stalking you" was much funnier in my head.
It’d be hilarious to release a gorilla in a gorilla suit at the mall and see the look on security’s face when they pull off the mask.
A bachelor party seems more appropriate after a divorce than before a wedding.
It seems racist that they call it Black Friday just because a bunch of people are trying to get into stores in the middle of the night.
I had a very confident breakdown today. ...Wasn`t nervous at all. ;)
I can`t turn water into wine, but I can turn vodka into dinner