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It`s getting warm out. I can finally get back to smacking people and blaming it on mosquitos!
The black sheep always have the best stories.
Exercise? More like extra fries.
It`s tough being a people person when you can`t stand most people.
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
When we give each other a thumbs up, it`s our way of mocking every other animal on earth.
Turns out if you fake your death every monday work catches on.
I haven`t been this disappointed since I first saw a real hedgehog and it wasn`t blue.
I can`t tell if I actually have free time, or if I`m just forgetting everything...
I bet if you walked up to any table at a restaurant and said "Good afternoon folks" they will let you take their order.
I thought an emu was when you sent someone a cow via cyber mail.
Boss just announced she is leaving early. What a coincidence. So am I.
Still waiting on the "Once you go black, you`ll never go back" episode of Mythbusters.
"That`s too much bacon." -Nobody ever