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They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
Why don’t we just take the safety labels off of everything and let this stupidity problem solve itself?
Have you noticed that tire stores never hang big banners that say "Blowout Sale"?
Sorry I got drunk and said and did everything I wanted to say and do.
Never confuse the words "venom" and "poison". Venom is injected into blood by an animal. Poison is injected into food by a woman.
Happiness, is just a liquor store away.
No thanks, cardio, this pot of coffee will get my heart rate up just fine
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
I bet the guy that was looking forward to his next life and came back reincarnated as me is really disappointed.
What I lack in sex appeal I make up in staying home and drinking.
Happiness is realizing you can have as many drinks as you want ... cause you`re not driving.
Education is a process where we waste one half of our life learning how to waste the other half of our life!!
Like many people, I used to want to be famous, but after this year, I`m quite happy to be have been such a failure.
When finding someone to date, drinking compatibility is more important than you think.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....