Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Didn’t Selfie Sticks used to be called Friends?
I used to drink a lot in the 80s. Then I realized, who cares what the temperature is?
I choked on a carrot this afternoon and all I could think was "I bet a cupcake wouldn`t have done this to me."
*Food hits floor* Little Germs: “Let’s get it!”King Germ: “No, we must wait 5 seconds!”
"He sure seems like a nice young man" is Grandma-speak for "I`d totally hit that."
Relationships are like bathrooms. I`m in them a lot longer than I need to be, probably cause I`m playing on my phone the whole time.
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
Quick question, ladies: If you shave your eyebrows off and then draw them back on, what the heck are you doing?
I was told that I had an alcohol problem, but I think me and Captain Morgan have it figured out..
Come on. Let`s all go and be happy in front of some miserable people
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
Do not put off until tomorrow what you can put off indefinitely.
Mouth the word " vacuum" to a stranger & see what happens.
I may not have any friends but at least I know my cat will never ask me to help him move
Kinda hard to believe not a single mutant at professor Xavier’s school had the power to heal a dude’s legs.