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Those of you who say “I’ll sleep when I’m dead” don’t really get how the whole “dead” thing works, do you?
PMS is no joke, you guys. I just ate like three bags of Reese`s Pieces. Oh, and my wife`s really being a bitch.
Don`t talk to me about disappointment. I had lots of adults tell me they were gonna "fix my little red wagon" yet here it sits with a broken wheel still
Welcome to journalism, where everything is made up, and the sources don`t matter.
Im pretty sure that my shrink this week mumbled "this is pure gold" under his breath
Dyslexics of the world.. UNTIE!
R2-D2 from Star Wars, still holds the record for most curse words in a movie.
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
The iPhone 5S: Because the NSA wants your thumbprint now too.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase Regards again.
I can update Facebook from anywhere. Even when crossing the stre
All you need is WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn`t move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and shouldn`t, use the tape.
wants to rock and roll all night
You have 600 friends on Facebook but you have to take your own picture of yourself for your profile photo.