Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let me get this straight…a woman could pour hot wax on her legs, ripping all the hair out…and still be afraid of a spider?
I should run for political office just to see what kind of scandalous dirt they dig up. It would be nice to piece together my twenties.
Dear Santa, I was framed!
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
The secret to dancing is to pretend you have a wedgie and you`re trying to get it unstuck without using your hands.
Lord, grant me the courage to be the person I am under my breath.
I just want to find someone who will love me for exactly who I am pretending to be.
People liking my status from a week ago on Facebook proves that I have stalkers.
When I get a call from an unknown number I answer by whispering: "It`s done, but there`s blood everywhere!"
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
Never forget that we live in a world in which it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract.
Are you supposed to get an email that says “HAHAHAHAHA” after signing up for Match.com?
I’m not a sore loser ... thanks to Vicodin.
They say I have a drinking problem. I say they have a problem with nudity.