Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
And, yet another day I’ve gone without using calculus.
Since there’s only one of me, does that make me an endangered species?
I`m a wealth of knowledge ... Unless you want it to be true, then I`m pretty solid on about 6 topics ... 2 of those might just be Doritos flavors
"Dancing with the Stars" is being canceled, but tune in to a new reality show by the same creators called, "Athletes do your Taxes."
My girlfriend ended up with a broken nose today because she wouldn`t listen to me... I said,"You`re about to walk into a lamppost."
If you can`t fix it with duct tape or beer ... it ain`t worth fixin`
It`s 2014, people. Isn`t it about time we put an end to all this `wake up in the morning and go to work` nonsense?
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not sharks though. Or bees. Viruses. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don’t love anything.
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they say "to boldly go where no one has gone before", when they get there, they always meet someone?
If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they`re not talking to you anymore.
Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...
Of all the advice given to me over the years, “There really is no bad time for a beer” has proved to be the most helpful.
Trail Mix: M&Ms with obstacles
I`d say go to hell, but I don`t want to see you again.