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I was pretty sure that at this point in my career I would have henchmen by now!
Before I wash my socks, I just throw one in the trash.
A gentle reminder about Daylight Savings Time: If you thought last Monday sucked, this one will prove to be much, much worse.
A new study has found that women find it seven times easier to read men’s facial expressions than men have reading women’s. That’s mostly because we’re not looking at their faces ...
Limbo champion walks into a bar...he`s disqualified.
My face hurts from pretending to like you.
The problem is I have just enough money to get into trouble but not enough to make bail.
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
I wonder how many people`s phones out there have my name saved in contacts as "DO NOT ANSWER"
Sometimes, talking to a woman requires a translator.
I don’t mind going to work. It’s that eight-hour wait to go home that bugs me.
What happens when Batman sees Catwoman? The Dark Knight Rises.
The worst walk of shame is the one back onto the crowded elevator after getting out on the wrong floor.
Having plans sounds great until you realize you have to put on clothes and actually leave the house.
Nothing tells your friends you`ve made it in life quite like owning a 4 slice toaster.