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People need to stop putting flyers on my car. I don`t want to see a band called "Parking Violation" at the "Courthouse"
If you live in a custom-built house that doesn’t have a secret room hidden behind a fake bookcase, then seriously what is the point?
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Good news: I can still do a full split! Bad news: It wasn`t on purpose!
You have a point. It`s just not very sharp
I was playing catch phrase with my family and the phrase I got was `pearl necklace` .. And then I ruined family time...
Having a bit of a lazy day, sitting in my underwear looking for jobs online ... My boss doesn`t look amused
Call me a hoarder if you want but don`t come crying to me when you need a 3 foot tall stack of mayonnaise jar labels.
is having some serious PMS: Parked Motorcycle Syndrome!
If the waitress in the One Bell Pub is reading this can we please have our pudding now, cheers
One time I threw a boomerang and lost it, now I live in constant fear.
If you`re going to be two faced, at least make one of them pretty
Someone just asked me if I was `happily` married. Single people are adorable.
Most bags of sand live a tough life stopping floods. But some, the lucky ones, live a leisurely life tied to the basket of a hot air balloon
I’m not always rude. Sometimes I’m sleeping.