Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If your Facebook post requires me to hit “continue…” get a diary.
I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
Today I discovered that two wrongs definitely don`t make a right. Tomorrow I`m going to try three.
To a woman, sexual harassment is when a man makes advances towards her. If a woman makes advances towards a man, we call that getting lucky.
Rolling out of bed is easy. Getting up off of the floor is another story.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
Girls are like roads, the more curves, the more dangerous they are.
Dear Fruity Pebbles: Calorie content w/out milk is unnecessary. Anyone shoving dry Fruity Pebbles down their throat isn’t counting calories.
had a great time horseback riding today but then I ran out of quarters
What does envelope 1 of 3 on my credit card bill mean?
The only thing us men clean at home is our browser history
I`ve never been a fan of multi-tasking or quite frankly regular tasking.
"Please take a seat" was a bad introduction for a Kleptomaniacs` Anonymous meeting.
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman