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The naked truth is better, than d dressed-up lie :) Aa
After dinner I like to sit in the garden in my underwear and smoke a cigarette.....but apparently that`s not done at this hotel....
great minds and dirty minds have something in common, they think alike
Not to brag, but I can spend hours coming up with reasons not to do something that takes 5 minutes.
The gym is like church to some people. No matter what they do all week, they think they can erase it with one visit.
Please do not read this.
I’ll drink responsibly when there is a brand of vodka named Responsibly.
I hope your day is as nice as your butt.
Dear whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office – I will track you down. You have my Word.
Saying you like one political party over another, is like saying one filthy whore is prettier than the other filthy whore.
My mother suggested that I get professional help... and that`s when I hired my first hooker.
Sometimes I think my job is actually a hidden-camera game show where they see how much absurd bullshit I’ll put up with before I catch on.
You the bomb" "No you the bomb" A compliment in America. An argument in the middle east
Wine improves with age. I improve with wine.
I was at a nice restaurant tonight and accidentally left out a loud fart. 4 people turned around. For a minute, I thought I was on "The Voice".