Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
There is a fine line between a numerator and a denominator
I`m too lazy to be a stalker. You`ll have to come here. Bring coffee.
Why can’t the shower just naturally keep itself clean?
I don`t know why beer companies bother with an expiration date. It`s never going to make it anywhere near that.
These police take Hide and Seek really seriously.
Holy sh!t! I just opened a bag of cheddar and sour cream Ruffles and one of the chips was plain. This is a sign, man. God is going to smite all of us f*ckers with his wrath and send us to all to burn in the eternal flames of... Sorry. Just one side of the chip was plain. Carry on.
That very akward moment when Shakirah`s hips lie!
Funerals are so depressing, when I die I want to be fed to a shark or something cool.
This Kit Kat commercial is making some awfully big assumptions about both my generosity and my number of friends.
Make your girlfriend scream your name, leave the toilet seat up.
Iwent to Office Max to buy a drawing board, but they were sold out. I guess it`s back to the....oh rats...
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
I want the drugs of the first guy who was like "DUDE, let`s carve a face into a pumpkin."
Dear Optimist, Pessimist, and Realist. While you guys were arguing about the glass of water. I drank it. – The Opportunist
I didn`t know until this week that so many people I know are politicians...