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Feeling tired as you struggle to get through the day? There`s a nap for that.
Boss: Are you on drugs? Me: You and I both know I don`t make enough money to have a drug problem
Today one of my colleague told...... Buddy let get into serious studies... exams are on our heads.... And then both of us continued to chat with other people on fb for hours
I am a completely different person when I`m not under female supervision.
Just once, I want a username and password prompt to say, “Close Enough.”
You left a note on the fridge saying "This isn`t working. Goodbye" but I opened it and it was working perfectly well. I don`t get it.
Cold? Try Netflix. You’ll still be cold, but you’ll be watching Netflix.
I wish my personality allowed me to write deep and meaningful statuses sometimes, oh well. Titties!
I’m great at remembering names. I just don’t remember which one’s yours.
Yes, autocorrect, that`s right. I hate that stupid ditch
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Note to self: Thanks for always being there.
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
I guess the teachers went back to school. The bar was nearly empty this morning.
When people introduce themselves to me for the first time, I tell them, "Yes, we`ve met before." So they feel awkward trying to remember me