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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Anything is possible when you have no clue what you`re talking about
I`d be willing to sleep my way to the top if it actually meant sleeping.
The earth moves 1.6 million miles per day. So no I didn`t just "lay in bed and watch TV all day" I traveled very far thank u
I have been tagged and poked so many times today, I may not be able to walk tomorrow.
Dear Haters, I have so much more for you to be mad at me for...please be patient.
No YouP*rn… I do not want to play poker, I’m at work for crying out loud.
Breaking News: I took a bath today
They say that you are what we eat. This means that I am cheap, easy and ready in 2 minutes!
Men think they have it bad, but they`re not the ones having to hold their boobs when they run.
In about 20 years, that cherry tattoo on your cleavage is gonna look like a pair of raisins and that butterfly you got tatted on back is gonna look like a moth.
Beer is the answer...but I can`t remember the question.
I didn’t give you the finger...you earned it.
Everyone loved Jack-in-the-box as kids. Now I`m older, I like mine in the bottle
I fight evil wherever it may be ... except in dark, scary places.