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Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
Ahhh another Monday at work...... I`m having as much fun as a colorblind person playing Twister!
Life would be so much better if there were piñatas strategically placed throughout my day.
My age is very inappropriate for my behavior.
If someone says you used too much butter or cheese on something, stop talking to them. You don`t need that kind of negativity
Sandals or shoes? I have adorable toes. All 12
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
Siri, destroy the vehicle in front of me.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
My pants are 75% off.
Ha, SUCKA`S! I just smuggled a bag of popcorn into the movie theater. Now I just need to borrow their microwave.
Coffee: So I can do nothing with more energy.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
Guys, if she says she’s crazy, she’s harmless. The real crazy ones never give you a damn clue.
I fear the day when our kids would look at old you tube videos of us doing the Harlem Shake and Gangnam Style and think what a retarded generation ours was.