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That`s weird, all this time I thought the Birds and the Bees was a dance from the 50`s.
I run entirely on caffeine and inappropriate thoughts.
Drinking coffee in the afternoon is like eating the mushroom that makes you big in Super Mario.
Talking to you makes me invent new swear words.
As a man, I honor Christopher Columbus every day of the year by refusing to ask for directions.
I`m having one of those days where my middle finger is answering all my questions...
They should really be Middle-Age Mutant Business Turtles by now.
This sushi restaurant has the worst service. "Sir, this is an aquarium"
I don`t really like the idea that James Franco might be in my grandkids` history textbooks.
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
I really want to talk to you about how I don`t want to talk to you.
Being an adult is 99% wondering how you hurt your back.
I`m 50% sure this cross eyed guy is starring at my tits.
I believe in living every day like it`s my last day, and on my last day, I plan to take it easy.
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!