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You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Why don`t prison inmates just use liquid soap?
Lil Wayne is 10% African-American and 90% tattoo.
I take a large amount of pride in always being prepared for a nap.
I thought my name was "Stop encouraging him" until I was 11.
I need professional help. A chef and a butler will do just fine.
I`m not crazy I`m just special! No wait maybe I am crazy.. One second, I have to talk to myself about this hold on...
Always forgive your enemies. Nothing aggravates them so much. But if you really want to piss them off tell them you will pray for their souls.
Trying to achieve the perfect erection. How hard could it be?
I`m that friend that you have to explain to people before you introduce me and apologize about afterwards.
Zoning out is your brain’s way of saying “You look bored. Let me take you to a better place.”
If I’m not eating I’m most likely not happy.
Is it even possible to calmly walk away from a dark basement?
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?