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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don`t hate anyone. I just don`t like people.
Instead of calling in sick, call in well. Tell them how great you feel not having to go to work today.
I am sick of people thinking deodorant is optional.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
sorry but your password must contain an "uppercase letter, a number, a haiku, a gang sign, a hieroglyph, and the blood of a virgin"
Besides tweeting during this job interview, what would you say is your biggest weakness?
I hate it when people are holding a device capable of using google and they ask me stupid questions.
Was disappointed when I watched the films Shaft, XXX, X-Men, In To Deep, Snatch, The Box, Free Willy. None of them were what I expected...
If I agreed with you weยดd both be wrong.
Coffee`s a great way to fool yourself into believing you`re going to have a productive day.
Unless your kid`s fundraiser is selling booze, I want no part of it.
A word to the wise isn`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.
If you loose a tooth as an adult, the tooth fairy gives you a trailer.
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle