Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
“What doesn’t kill you makes you smaller.” ~Mario
Always have a goal... Example: Turn as much alcohol into urine as you can.
A Smart car Zoomed past me And vanished into a pothole.
My Bills are so big that I have to call them William now.
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
At least thirty percent of my workout is spent picking a different song.
The fridge is a clear example that what matters is what`s inside.
That awkward moment when Adele finds someone like me
I don`t know what`s longer, a treadmill minute or a microwave minute.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
Today`s brilliant idea: Slim Fast beer.
Women who tell me I have commitment issues have never seen me with a large pizza.
Just looked at the price of baby strollers. I think were gonna have an indoor baby.
Did you know that if we laid all the facebook account owners end to end around the world. Three quarters of them would Drown? Hmm ....