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I will never be to old to laugh when somone farts in a public bathroom peeing..
Apparently when my math teacher asked `what comes after 69` "I DO" was not the correct answer.
Every morning, I jog around my block 15 times. Then I pick the block up and put it back in my toy chest..
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
My GPS is basically just one more woman in my life who I turn on and then ignore.
I was late to work because I was having car trouble. And by car trouble I mean I was sleeping and not driving the car.
My favorite drinking game is drinking.
Opening the Tupperware cupboard at home should be regarded as an extreme sport.
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
I keep my TV volume at "screw the neighbors".
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
... and so begins another failed hundred or so attempts at trying to write the correct year on anything I date.
Mom in poetic mood ....Asked me to express emptiness .... I showed her my wallet ........ n m cheek still burns .... :-p :-p
It`s called fall because everything is falling; leaves, temperature, bank account, gpa, motivation...
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!