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Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
How do blind people know when to stop wiping their asses
Do you ever think about sh!t you did in the past and just go why the f*ck did nobody punch me in the face?
A lot of talk from the peasants lately about my arrogance.
Which nipple does the red jumper cable go on? Asking for a friend.
Life would be so much better if throughout the day we encountered randomly placed Piñatas
I`m giving up abbreviations for Lent. Laugh Out Loud
Love is a two way street but you have to be careful because women can’t drive.
When life hands you lemons it should only remind you to buy more tequila, life is as simple as that.
Good news: I finally got my computer connected to the wireless printer. Bad news: not sure which house I need to go to get my documents.
People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous
Drinking Tip: Never buy the first round cause that`s when people care what they`re drinking!
If you`re crazy and you know it shake your meds...
During the holidays people have to make a choice between enjoying the holidays or spending it with the relatives.
If whores, witches, ghosts and hobo`s show up on my doorstep, I can only assume it`s Halloween because our family reunion was in July....