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It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
Despite the old saying, "Don`t take your troubles to bed," many women still sleep with their husbands.
Thou shall not promote Christmas until after Thanksgiving.
The only thing worse than "the one who got away" is "the one who won`t go away."
How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?
I thought I was feeling a little bloated today, turns out I had my underwear on backwards.
Men ask us if we`re naked when we tell them we`re taking a bath. THAT`S why they pay more for their car insurance.
I can make your gf scream louder than you can. - Spider
Government Shutdown: Day Three Jellystone Park still closed. Still no pic-a-nic baskets. Yogi stares at Boo-Boo... Boo-Boo looks tasty.
If you could have one super power would you pick flying, invisibility, or falling asleep without questioning every decision you`ve ever made
My wife told me I suffer from a lack of imagination. I said, "Yeah? Well you suffer from a lack of imagination." That showed her.
If my cats have taught me anything, its how to ignore people.
When someone walks away from me shaking their head, I totally agree.
Facebook should have a limit on times you can update your relationship status, after 3 it should default to "unstable".
Black holes must be where God divided by zero.