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"Do not touch" must be one of the scariest things to read in braille
I liked you until you started ignoring me and then I loved you. -Girls ---- Bfanch
My wife gives me sound advice. 99% sound. 1% advice.
its not the up`s and down`s that bring you down...its the jerks!!
Don`t hide your feelings. Hide the evidence.
Farting isn`t ladylike? Well, neither is giving a blowjob, but I have never heard you complaining about that!
I found a dollar in my bed this morning... Following my excitement was a flash of panic as I checked all my teeth
My wife said if this gets 100 likes, we`ll try butt stuff........ * Please DON`T like,,, her strap-on is big and scary.....
Thanks for accepting my friend request on Facebook, even though is was solely so I could gain full access to your profile and judge your life choices.
Whenever a buddy of mine wants to borrow something, I remind them that everything I own has touched my balls.
Autocorrect is changing correctly spelled words. I’m starting to think it has a mind of its AUTOCORRECT IS HARMLESS. GO ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
I know my limits. I don’t pay any attention to them, but I know them.
I have read so much about the dangers of drinking and smoking, that i have decided to quit reading