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If a man speaks at sea where no women can hear, is he still wrong?
A good lawyer knows the law. An excellent one knows the judge.
It is amazing how a nice pair of boobs can hide serious flaws and signs of mental illness until after you marry them!
I refuse to jump on the `I hate Mondays` bandwagon. I hate all workdays equally
The internet is just another location for people to be wrong about things.
Think big, Think smart, Think positive, Think beautiful, Think great,I know this is too much for u,so here is a shortcut-Just think about me
Here`s a list of things I need you to accomplish without any resources to do them with. -management
I wake up everyday planning to be productive and then a voice in my head says “haha good one” and we laugh and laugh and take a nap.
Thanksgiving is a great time to test the boundaries of how drunk you can get before your family members notice.
I assume that a Columbus Day sale means I can just walk into a store and take whatever I want.
I love facebook because it helps me remember what I did the night before when I blacked out.
Today I heard a guy on the street say, `It`s chowder season, baby!` so I pushed him in front of a bus because those are awesome last words
I want to live in a world where it’s never too late for breakfast food and never too early for pizza.
Let this be known as my Living Will. I do not wish to be cremated. If the Zombie Apocalypse happens I would like to be a part of it.
If Welch’s is 100% Grape Juice, then why the heck do you list 4 other ingredients?