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It`s not everyday you find a $50 bill in your pocket, I didn`t, but like I said it`s not everyday..
Just checked my Farmville for the first time in 2 years... It`s now a Walmart.
I learn something new every day that I didn`t want to know.
Well that`s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I`m doing.
I think I just discovered Newton’s third law of Emotion: ..... "For every male action, there is an equal and opposite female overreaction."
Apparently, when asked "In the event of a fire, what steps would you take?" "F**kin` large ones" is not the correct answer.
If my fridge had glass doors I would still stand there and hold the door open.
I just finished writing an article on "How To Improve Your Memory"- But I forgot where I kept it!!
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
Last night I was walking the sexiest girl ever home until she turned around and saw me.
No thanks, NASCAR. If I wanted to spend 8 hrs watching a car drive around in a big circle, I`d go on a road trip with my mom.
Sarcasm: because beating the sh!t out of people is illegal.
I`m a little ticked off, I checked a book about surgery out of the library and when I opened it up I found that someone had taken the appendix out
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I`m really fun to talk to.