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I forgot to make a resolution, so I`m pretty much going to just write out everything I did last night and add the word "stop" to the beginning.
If I`ve learned anything from 50 Shades of Grey, its that women still haven`t figured out you can watch porn at home... for free.
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
"What doesn`t kill you makes you smaller." -Super Mario
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
Ohh sh!t, my b!tch button is stuck.
So, when people say "LOLZ", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?
Life is Hard; it’s harder if you’re stupid.
Horoscope: Slightly fatter than you were yesterday
eHarmony matched me with a bean bag chair with duct tape on it
I will be responsible for my actions....when my actions become more responsible.
Please keep me in your thoughts and prayers. Nothing bad has happened, but I’m trying to be proactive.
You couldn`t handle five minutes in my head.
Thanks to the presence of fools, wise people stand out.
Any of you had a friend that borrowed your sh!t and kept it for so long you had to borrow it back..