Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one
Turkish ruler Erdogan was at the White House this week. Sources say he arrived very early so he could beat the crowd.
Men, if a woman is upset, hold her and tell her how beautiful she is. If she starts to growl, retreat to a safe distance and throw chocolate at her.
Coffee is gods way of saying "go ahead get trashed on a weeknight, I`ve got your back"
Sometimes I wanna comment on a photo on Facebook but then I don`t wanna have to explain why I`m in your `Random Party Pics 08` album at 4am.
Adding "just sayin" to a smart-a$$ed comment makes you even more of an a$$hole. Just sayin
I Don’t answer text messages right when I get them so I don’t seem desperate. Then, I forget about them and never respond.
Instead of cleaning the house I just watch an episode of Hoarders and I think WOW, my house really looks great.
I SOOOOO wanted Kim and Kayne to name their daughter Wild Wild...
Just convinced my Mom she won`t get Wolf of Wall Street if she doesn`t see Teen Wolf first.
Don`t cry because it`s over, smile because for a few miles they believed you were the real bus driver.
Since It`s summer here`s a little advice, best way to beat the heat is to wear a San Antonio Spurs jersey
The reason dogs look confused when you open the refrigerator door is because they`re thinking "Why don`t you just eat ALL the food?"
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
Just realized the irony of putting Bacon on my VeggieBurger..........