Mobile App Coming Soon - Daily Silly Status

Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that morning and mourning sound the same.
I don`t think I could love any person as much as I love BACON... Mmmmm Bacon...
Jehovah`s witnesses don`t celebrate Halloween. I guess they don`t appreciate random people coming up to their doors.
No one has ever said, "You know what would make this even better? ... Turkey bacon."
When I`m home alone, every noise I hear is a serial killer
IΒ΄m the kind of person that when my feet hit the ground each morning the devil says, "OH CRAP, HEΒ΄S UP"!
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza
Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.
Someone`s gotta break it to people under 25 that cameras can also point away from themselves.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
No one ever reads the rules of Monopoly unless an argument breaks out.
I hope this snowstorm doesn`t impact my schedule of aimlessly wasting my day online.....
In other news millions of facebook user suddenly got their law degree
A police officer just knocked on my door to tell me my dogs were chasing kids down the road on bikes.. Umm.. My dogs don`t even own bikes?
I can`t figure out why everyone calls me a smart-ass. Is it because I`m smart and have a great ass?