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Every time I use a public bathroom, I always wonder why so many people have Sharpies on them at all times.
All I`m saying is, China could have a much better relationship with the West if they shared their dragons with us. But, whatever, be that way.
I prefer my kale with a silent "K"
It`s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.
A sign on the wall of the drug store said, "Ask the pharmacist if you have questions." How would the pharmacist know if I have questions?
Hardest question in a relationship, "What do you feel like eating?"
You know you`re getting old when one huge fart throws out your back.
Don’t ask me again” is my favorite computer button that I wish was also a real life button.
about love
Although no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
For Christmas I just want summer...
That awkward moment when you leave a store without buying anything and all you can think is "act natural, you`re innocent".
You`ll all be sorry when I figure out how to breathe fire.
Couldn`t stay awake sitting on the couch, so I laid down in bed to make sure I wouldn`t fall asleep
are you free tomorrow ?! no I am f**king expensive !!