Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
This cat poop tastes like I`m about to get yelled at -Dogs
I came across 3 snakes while mowing the yard today, but those of you in North America already know that because you heard me scream
The good thing about being tall is, you can`t get lost in a crowd. The bad thing is, you can`t get lost in a crowd.
How do amish girls know if its a romantic candle lit dinner or just a regular candle lit dinner.
why does a round pizza comes in a square box?
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?
Ex Girlfriend: Omg! I had a dream about you last night!! Ex Boyfriend: Aww thats so sweet, what happend? Ex Girlfriend: U died :)
"Hey homie!" - How I greet my house whenever I arrive.
Dear life, When I said "can my day get any worse?" it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
Organized people are just too lazy to look for things.
I don`t care about Disney lying about the Prince Charmings out there. I`m more annoyed that random woodland creatures won`t clean my house.
If you have a parrot and you don’t teach it to say,”Help, they’ve turned me into a parrot”, you are wasting everybody’s time.
My husband picks fights with me like he doesn`t even value half of all his assets.
Thinks that some of you make impulsive, poor thought out decisions. We should totally hang out more!!!