Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My salad pic. got more likes than your selfie.
I told the monster in my closet that coming out of there would make him gay. Ha!!,,That solves that problem.
I`d be amazing at life if I was only asked to sit and play on the computer all day.
Man, those 2013 Mayan Calenders are REALLY hard to find...
Someone told me once that to have more confidence during sex, put in a live concert album while doing it. That way, you will hear applause every 3-4 minutes but I did it wrong. Accidentally put in a live concert album and all I heard was laughter!
The hostess said to sit wherever I want, but the couple at this table are giving each other weird looks and have totally stopped talking.
Fruit cocktail is the most disappointing of all the cocktails.
You had me at "do we need to stop at the liquor store on the way to your place"
I just keep telling myself you guys don`t have sex either.
Sometimes I think Iām too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
Tonight I`m playing hard to get off the sofa.
Iām not lazy, I just really enjoy doing nothing.
Wesley Snipes was released from prison this week. Now he can finally begin filming "Blade 4: Twilight."
I don`t understand why people pay therapists when I`ll tell them what`s wrong with them for free.
Mail from Grandma: FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:FW:No subject