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Why do restaurants always say "Shirt and Shoes Required" but never say anything about pants?
I don’t really forgive people I just pretend like it`s okay and wait for my opportunity to destroy them.
"..::. :.:.. ::...: .:. :.:: ::.: ..::. :: ::.:..." - Stevie Wonder-
Congratulations! I`ve finally snapped, and you`re first on my list!
No one ever said life was easy, but several people did say that you were.
It doesn`t matter if the shoe fits or not, I`m still shoving it up your a$$.
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
All you single ladies, please stop saying you should just give up and get a cat. If no man wants you, don`t subject an innocent cat to a life with you.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
I`ve been calling my wife "honey" for 12 years because I don`t know how to tell her I forgot her name.
Why do people with bad breath always have to tell me secrets???
Had a bad mixup at the store today. Cashier said strip down facing me. Apparently she meant my credit card.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
My sex life is just like my typing skills. One handed.