Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Now accepting applications for partners in crime. Please read all fine print:adult language and partial nudity may be required.
I just attempted to wash a paper plate if you wonder how much money I have available.
Honestly, it`s not the way I look that reveals my age. It`s my use of complete sentences, proper grammar and spelling when I text.
Sometimes I get nervous I haven`t done anything with my life. But then something good comes on TV, and I`m OK.
If ignorance is bliss. You must be the happiest person on this planet.
I enjoy long romantic walks to the fridge.
It`s not real love unless you leave your phone in plain sight overnight.
People with the loudest car audio systems usually have the worst taste in music.
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
I hear lots of doctors are prescribing medical marijuana for arthritis. Given that arthritis is "inflammation of the joints", it`s fighting fire with fire!
With great power comes great electricity bill.
Today I saw a sign for a suicide helpline on the back of a bus. Wouldn`t it be a lot more helpful if it was on the front?
Pizza: Round food, cut into triangles and put into a square box.
If 3 people have sex, it`s called a 3-some. If 2 people have sex, it`s called a 2-some. I guess we now know why they call you HAND-some.
What was that idiot thinking when he invented white underwear?