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i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)
I helped my girlfriend with the dinner last night. I took the batteries out of the smoke alarm.
We should have staff meetings in the garden. The plants would love the fertilizer.
I don`t have an inner child. I have an inner old person who wants everyone to shut up.
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
My personal fast food philosophy: If nobody knows you went to McDonald`s, you didn`t really go to McDonalds.
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
I don`t believe in karma, but I do believe in punching people in the face.
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
That awkward moment when the automatic flushing toilet goes off when you`re still sitting down.
That awkward moment when you realise you have way more internet friends than real friends.
I wish I was important enough for my nudes to get leaked.
My body is by no means a temple but it can be one heck of a amusement park ride...
My diet could best be described as, "unchaperoned child at a birthday party."
If something`s worth doing, it`s worth doing rihgt.