Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
When your wife or girlfriend asks,"Do I look fat?" the ONLY correct response is, "Do I look stupid?
Facebook has suggested that I POKE you.
I hate that feeling when you feel you wrote something good on facebook and then nobody likes your status. Depressing... :(
My theory: Every squirrel you see is currently on a dare from another squirrel
Why don`t you slip into something more comfortable, like a coma
Sorry ladies, but I already got my eyes on a woman who`s not interested.
FYI, Target does not give prizes, no matter how many bullseyes you hit in the store with a paintball gun
Baby.. I wanna be the reason you need therapy.
Beach people are fickle. One minute you`re the loser with a bucket of cold fries and the next they`re terrified of the Lord of Seagulls.
Why is it when you take a break from Facebook everyone assumes you`re happy and in love ... Maybe I was in jail.
It would be so cool to be able to see an album of all the pictures you’ve accidentally photobombed in public.
I just slid off the couch and lay on the floor for a while and eventually sat up without using my hands, is that a yoga class?
The "Beware of Cat" sign posted outside my house doesn`t seem to be having the desired affect.
You can tell a lot about a woman by how she slices brownies. For example: if she throws the knife at you, you should pick up some Midol.