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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind.
The only thing worse than dramatic girls facebook statuses…dramatic guys Facebook statuses.
Wtf? I was always told to treat people the way I want to be treated.. Stupid sexual harassment charges pending.
Someone told me I`m immature and need to grow up. Guess who`s not allowed in my treehouse now.
I`m an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours a day.
Life before the computer: Memory was something that you lost with age. An application was for employment. A program was a TV show. A cursor used profanity. A keyboard was a piano. A web was a spider’s home. A virus was the flu. A CD was a bank account. A hard drive was a long trip on the road. A mouse pad was where a mouse lived. And if you had a 3 1/2 inch floppy…you just hoped nobody found out.
Don`t forget to turn your clocks back today if you want them to be set to the wrong time.
Day six of my push-up challenge. So far, I`ve eaten 107 push-up pops.
A recent survey has shown that 50% of all newlyweds want to try anal sex. Or to put it another way, 100% of grooms.
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I would never be bored again.
I`ve got worms !!!! ......... worms in me garden
I`m at the point in my life where "friend with benefits" just means a person who gives me their Bed Bath & Beyond coupons.