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Pretty fed up with the fact that pandemonium almost NEVER involves pandas.
I like having an ex ...it gives me something to do on Facebook at 3 in the morning.
The object of golf.... is to play the least amount of golf.
Wine doesn`t have many vitamins. That`s why you have to drink a lot of it.
If I throw a stick will you leave?
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
BEFORE I GET DRUNK, NAKED,THROWN IN JAIL AND LOOSE MY DAMN PHONE. *HAPPY NEW YEAR.
I`ve been hitting "remind me later" for about the last 4 years on Adobe.
Im 6`1", blue eyes, light brown hair, fit, own my own compa......oh crap, wrong website, sorry.
I feel like Frosted Flakes gives kids an unreasonable expectation of how friendly tigers are when you try to feed them a bowl of cereal.
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
I`m not antisocial. I`m pro leave-me-the-hell-alone.
What idiot called it the toaster and not the tanning bread?
Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance… The five stages of waking up.
Well, I’m bored again. Time to open the fridge