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I`m not Unemployed, I`m just taking my next job`s vacation in advance...
Why is it called cliffhanger and not
Picked up a hitchhiker last night. He said thanks how do you know I’m not a serial killer? I replied the chances of two serial killer’s being in the same car are astronomical.
I cannot be held responsible for what my face does when other people talk.
Why do sandwiches taste so much better when they are cut diagonally?
I`m awkward when people compliment me. "Nice hair" "Thanks, I grew it myself"
Everyone talks about leaving a better planet for our kids. Let`s try to leave better kids for our planet.
Well that’s a wrap on another day where I act like I know what I’m doing
I`m alone in my car ... Counting it as a vacation.
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
I may have no one rocking my world right now, but I have no one ruining it either!
Big shout-out to slugs for doing everything a snail does but without a helmet.
I`m angrier than a waitress forced to sing happy birthday
Relationship status: Just kissed my cat and he got up and moved to the other end of the couch.
Days that I don’t have to care about my appearance are my favorite days.