Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My hair only looks good on days when no one important sees it.
I put the pro in inappropriate.
A cash bar on parent-teacher conference nights would be a great fundraiser for schools.
You should probably first master the art of thinking “inside” the box
The only time I use the word “selfie” is when I am describing my sex life.
I need a new refrigerator ... There`s no food in mine.
I put my phone on Airplane Mode and now I can`t find it...
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
If people rode their spouses like they did their brakes the divorce rate would drop drastically.
Mondays are middle finger approved
Slowly, Waldo`s wife and Mr. Sandiego started putting the pieces together.
I’m glad you spent $80 on makeup to look like a $5 whore. Well done
To avoid conversations at work, always walk with purpose and a toilet plunger.
<-- Is my name! Isn`t it awesome!?
You`re the reason why I wake up every morning... Just kidding, I have to go to work.