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I put ALL my eggs in one basket at the grocery store.... Today..!!
Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?
It`s not the torch she carries for me that has me worried, it`s the gas can in her other hand.
The person that named the eggplant probably isn’t allowed to name things anymore.
So far my bracket is perfect! I can`t wait to fill the rest of it in.
Next time a stranger talks to me when I`m alone I will look at them shocked and just quietly whisper.... "You can see me?"
The irony of all this is, the internet was created to save us time…
Pokémon means a totally different thing if your stuck in a Jamaican prison.
I`m obviously smarter than you`re
The pharmacist asked me my birthday again today. Pretty sure she’s going to get me something.
Why does Flo from Progressive needs to have an apron on to sell insurance. Is there something dirty about insurance we should know about?
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
My door bell is a recording of a shotgun being racked.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
I can`t wait to miss the upcoming season of American Idol.