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I know this will probably piss off a bunch of people I know, but what makes someone good at fishing?!? Seriously, all you did was wait longer.
My friends are the type of friends that if my house was on fire, they would be over here with marshmallows and hitting on the hot fireman!
The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally, I`m above average at something!
Never wake a sleeping woman. Because then she´ll be awake.
My hatred for Nicki Minaj probably stems from my fear of clowns.
Do whatever you want. And if it’s something you’re going to regret in the morning…sleep late.
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
Commence six months of the clock in my car being wrong.
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
For men who think.."A women`s place is in the kitchen," Just remember, that`s where the Knives are kept!
The longer I`m left unattended in the Drs office the more tongue depressors I can lick and put back in the jar..... Just sayin
Love means never having to say you’re sorry until you`ve thought up a good excuse.
Don’t let anybody push you around ... unless you’re in a wagon, cuz that is just plain fun.
Look!!! I am always here for you no matter what,OK? unless there is something good on tv or I`m eating pie